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Beauty & the World, Social Issues

Do Interracial Couples ‘Match?’

As I spoke with a friend the other day, we discussed the politics of interracial dating.  There is this funny thing called ‘matching’ when it comes to couples.  For example, if a white man is with a girl of color, I have heard people say “they don’t match,” or “she is pretty, they look good together.”  These statements are problematic for a number of reasons, but mainly one:  it asserts that the minority portion of the couple, especially if that person is female, must be beautiful in order to ‘match’ her partner of another race.  One should ask, have I ever thought this about couples?  If I see a girl who is not attractive in my eyes, do I think she doesn’t ‘match’ her interracial partner?

Furthermore, getting down to the nitty-gritty of racial politics, I think it is safe to assume that a large portion of people also think that when it comes to asian and black relationships, it is ‘weird’ if the woman is black and the man is asian.  Many people have told me that they naturally think it is strange to see such a strange concoction, especially because the black woman must completely overpower the asian man.  Why do we think these types of things?

Another issue, is the belief that black men ‘look good’ with any race.  Who decided that?  It is unfair to afford such privileges to only men in general.  Women of color should be able to date who ever they want at any point in their life.  If you are out there and your nervous about ‘crossing over’ don’t be.  People are people.  I am not telling you to be blind about the potential drama that can occur as a result of interracial relationships, but I am telling you to be wise about why you think there will be drama.  If the drama is the result of outside influences then they aren’t really your true friends.  Be color wise about the truth of the matter.  Cultural differences do exist, but should you limit yourself to one group because you are afraid that visually you won’t match?…….Think on that.



3 thoughts on “Do Interracial Couples ‘Match?’

  1. I agree with you on all points. It is often true that the woman of color is expected to be beautiful in order for the man’s “selection” to be validated!

    It’s also funny how people perceive the Asian/Black dynamic. In the same way that there are stereotypes about Asian women being extremely submissive and obedient, there are stereotypes about black women being feisty and dominating, and with that said, people can’t wrap their heads around individuals who do not confirm these stereotypes. People may wonder how an Asian man keeps up with the sexual prowess and intensity of a strong, black woman when he’s so reserved, shy and passive. So many assumptions in that statement! Certainly, there would be cultural differences, but what people fail to recognize is that the two individuals are in the same graduate program, they’re from the same town, they’re both vegetarians, they both like the same music, etc., and most importantly, that their personalities complement each other very well (at least for that period that they’re together).

    There are so many dynamics within a relationship beyond race, so it’s interesting how much we judge based on outward appearance alone. Why does it bother us when an average weight man is with an overweight woman? Why does it bother us when an older man is with a younger woman? We constantly force our personal opinions of attractiveness on situations completely unrelated to us. “Because I’m not attracted to him, no one else could possibly be…” or “She can’t find him attractive; she must be after his money….”

    At the end of the day, if you aren’t in that relationship, then you’ll never know how and why it functions and thrives, and instead of judging, you should spend more time figuring out why you aren’t in a relationship of your own, lol.

    Posted by Preiyaa | April 30, 2012, 6:14 am
  2. We completely agree with you Preiyaa…It is about THEIR relationship not YOUR judgements….we could use some of your insights….possibly a guest contribution? 🙂

    But you nailed all of the main points that we were trying to get across..that all of those judgements are based on assumptions just simply based on appearance…one would think we could get passed that…especially, the sexual stereotypes of different races…they are just disgusting and they set us back in terms of modernity because they only reiterate stupid theories such as Eugenics or Racial Categorizing.

    Posted by colorwisemagazine | May 4, 2012, 1:01 pm
  3. Yeah, exactly! And you know I’m always willing to make a guest contribution! 🙂

    Posted by Preiyaa | May 7, 2012, 9:49 am

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